Silly Facebook Updates

In a way to pander to my crowd and hopefully get some more views on this here blog of mine and have a snicker. I present to you a list of silly Facebook Status:

-(name) wonders who is right? The Beatles with "All You Need is Love" or Nine Inch Nails with "Love Is Not Enough"
-(name) wonders why "abbreviated" such a long word?
-(name) can't seem to throw away his garbage can.
-(name) is being spontaneous... tomorrow.
-(name) knows there's 10 types of people: people who understand binary and people who don't.
-(name) is all that.
-(name) is saving a ton of money on his car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident!
-(name) saw a report that says 1 in 4 people are crazy and he's not it...
-(name) doesn't repeat himself, so listen carefully because he's not going to repeat himself.
-(name) still believes in Santa Claus to get the presents.
-(name) can't turn down the suck in your profile.
-(name) wants to live forever, so far so good.
-(name) got shoes for a dollar down at the bowling alley. What a steal!
-(name) is tragically hip.
-(name) is has a 7 figure salary! Sadly, there's a decimal point involved.
-(name) is bringing sexy back!
-(name) is herpes-free... today.
-(name) is going back to the drawing board.
-(name) is reading your facebook status updates in a priority order. Approximate wait time is 15 minutes.
-(name) knows money is the root of all evil. Send him $50 for more information.
-(name) found an incredible shrinking device! It's called his closet!-
-(name) is going around telling people that you're really 51.
-(name) wants to be your "it's complicated"

Feel free to use them!